Strong Female Character is the hugely insightful memoir by Scottish comedian, Fern Brady. In 2020 she was diagnosed with autism at the age of 34 and in Strong Female Character she recounts the struggles she has had through her life with being undiagnosed and not understood.
Opening sentence: A couple of times a week I’d have long phone chats with my dad as he commuted the two hours back home from his job in London.
Strong Female Character
Fern has had a remarkable life. Due to her natural comedic talent, the tone of Strong Female Character is very funny, warm and friendly. It fuses with laugh-out-loud moments with very serious points.
She doesn’t shy away from detailing her traumatic school and early adult years. For example, being told as a teenager that she couldn’t be autistic because she had a boyfriend, despite everything else she was feeling and going through, made my blood boil for her.
She has dealt with self harm and suicide attempts and was misunderstood by her parents to the extent that they sent to a psychiatric hospital-type school. Fern has struggled her whole life, always felt different and no-one could tell her why.
It’s weird being brought up to think you’re evil. I believed them when they said it – we’re programmed to believe everything our parents say – but I thought being evil would feel more powerful, less lonely.
A new way of thinking
I’d never heard of the term ‘masking’ before. Its described on autism.org as: Masking may involve suppressing certain behaviours we find soothing but that others think are ‘weird’, such as stimming or intense interests.
Fern talks about how she had to do this every day at school and later as an adult too. I can’t begin to imagine how mentally exhausting that must be for her – always pretending to be a version of yourself that you’re not, while also feeling like you’re not hitting the mark in terms of how others expect you to behave.
However, in 2020, when she was diagnosed, Fern began to see things a new way and finally begin to understand herself.
I struggled to see any positives from the label but by looking at autistic women I admired I began to realize that an autistic brain could provide an escape route from the traditional paths laid out for women.
Fern uses Strong Female Character to both share her story for other autistic women and highlight the chronic under-diagnosis of autism in women. I love the title of this book as not only does it reflect what Fern thought she had to be when masking, it’s also her now she has her diagnosis and can talk about her autism.
Such an eye-opening read – highly recommend!
- Get your copy of Strong Female Character here;
- Published by Harmony 2023;
- 288 pages;
- Book review rating:
Books on the 7:47 
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